Hold me tight
by Sesrohevoli
Summary: Rose/Thomas pairing! AU where Mr Andrews is the one to find Rose attempting to end her life. Lots of Cal and Ruth bashing. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is my first attempt at a fanfic, so please keep that in mind when reviewing. I have no issues with flames as long as you're not stupidly rude.

I've shipped Thomas and Rose together since I first watched Titanic, I think they're so perfect for each other!

I'm assuming that all readers will have already seen Titanic, so if you haven't yet seen it, I'd reccommend not reading this as you'll probably just be confused.

I stared silently at my wardrobe. The ticking clock behind me was a constant reminder that I only had minutes until I was expected down for dinner, but I couldn't find the motivation to get ready. Ready for another meal with the same narrow minded people, talking about how great money is, how much they have, and how they intend to make more. Ready for Cal to show me off like he's won the greatest prize at the fair. Ready for Mother to go on about wedding plans without a thought towards her daughters welfare.

"Rose!"

I shut my eyes, as if by shutting off my vision I could shut out the world. I tried to forget about the corset that was hugging me too tightly, or the ship that was carrying me back to America against my will. I wanted to forget about my arranged marriage with an arrogant, untrustworthy man.

"Rose! Hurry, don't hang about!"

Mother's shrill voice broke through my barriers. I had no choice but to slip into a dress and leave the safety of my dressing room.

"Hurry up Rose, Cal is outside, dinner is starting, what would people think if we were late for our first dinner on the ship..." Mother continued muttering about the opinions of others. We boarded Titanic this morning, and Mother had already sussed out who she needed to impress. Tonight we were to dine with Mr Ismay, the owner of the ship, and Mr Andrews, the designer and main craftsman. Of course, other first class people such as Molly Brown would be there, but they were unimportant to Mother and Cal.

Cal joined us outside, took my arm and were walked hurridly down to the dining hall. An endless sea of faces above expensive outfits greeted us. I nodded at smiled at them all, without achknowledging their identity. Like it mattered who they were.

The starter was uneventful. I was introduced to Mr Andrews and Mr Ismay. Ismay had a pompous manner, and looked me up and down like I was a horse for breeding. He smiled and nodded to Cal, as if I was his handywork. How I wished I could openly glare at the man. However, Mr Andrews was alright. He had a kind eye and smiled to me, instead of at me. His quiet Irish voice was soothing and safe, unless the posh accents of the other first class men. I instantly warmed to him.

Unfortunatly, the main meal was not as boring. Mr Ismay was babbling about Titanic as if we were sat in heaven. He made a constant effort to get Mr Andrews to boast about how the ship worked, but Andrews was too modest. I picked at the lamb Cal had ordered for us. It's not the lamb I object too, it's the fact that I didn't get a choice. Mother managed to tear herself away from the conversation long enough to glare at me, indicating that I should stop playing with my food and eat, but I wasn't in the mood to be the well-behaved daughter I was supposed to be.

At first, no one noticed me take the cigarette out of Cal's pocket and light it. It was Molly who noticed first, and chuckled at me under her breath. Cal and Mother had followed her gaze, earning me another glare.

"You know I don't like that, Rose" Mother said through her teeth. I blew a puff of smoke into her face. It shut her up, until Cal took the cigarette and stubbed it out,

"She knows" he said. Mr Ismay looked shocked at my behavior, whereas Mr Andrews looked slightly amused, if not a little suprised. Molly hastily changed the subject,

"So who thought of the name Titanic? Was it you Bruce?" She chuckled. Ismay puffed out his chest,

"Why yes, it was. I wanted something that described the sheer size of her..." I began to tune out, his stuck up manner was beginning to irritate me. I looked over at Mr Andrews, who looked just as annoyed. I decided I would have at least someones support if I stopped Ismay from carrying on his ramble.

"Have you heard of Dr Freud's work, Mr Ismay?" All eyes turned to me as I spoke in my calmest tone, "his ideas about the male fascination with size may be of interest to you."

A few gasps sounded around the table. Mother looked appalled, Cal furious, and Ismay was opening and closing his mouth like a fish, I glanced at Molly and Mr Andrews, who were hiding laughter behind their hands.

"Excuse me" I said, rising from the table, deciding to stay out of Mother and Cal's way for the rest of the evening. I heard Mother apologising about my behavior behind me, it made me want to scream. Why should I behave like them, when I'm losing control over my life. I walked faster, heading for my room. No one would be back from dinner for a few hours yet, so I could relax.

I collapsed on my sofa, thinking about what lay ahead of me. Cal having total control over me. The world expecting me to be the good wife that I was raised to be. I must have drifted off in my thoughts, because what seemed like minutes later I was being shaken by a furious Cal.

"What is the matter with you?" He roared, "you are my fiancee, you are representing me now. You will never behave like that again, do you understand me?" His grip around my wrist began to hurt.

"Cal.." I whimpered, looking at his hands around my wrist.

"Do you understand me?" he shouted. I nodded, and he released me. He stepped back, looking thoughtful. Then he suddenly stepped forward and slapped me, hard, across my face.

"Don't you ever think of acting like that again Rose" he said, before taking his cigars and leaving the room. I sat still for a while, in shock. Then the tears came, followed by the thoughts of a future, married to Cal and covered in bruises. Mother turning a blind eye as he beats me in front of our children...

Somehow I ended up on the deck, out of breath, leaning over the railings at the back of the ship. The black water looked so calm, the stars reflected on the surface looked so beautiful. If I jumped, my body couldn't be retrieved and locked in a vault with my dead relatives. I would stay in the ocean, untroubled and free. Without thinking, I climbed over the rail, and closed my eyes, ready to welcome the sweet peacefulness of death.

Thomas will be involved in chapter two, I promise! Don't forget to review! :D


	2. Chapter 2

Without thinking, I climbed over the rail, and closed my eyes, ready to welcome the sweet peacefulness of death.

"Miss Dewitt-Bukater?"

I gasped, looking behind me. Mr Andrews was walking towards me, his hand outstretched, his face full of fear. No, this can't happen. I'm ready for this. It's the only way I can be free.

"Stay back!" I cried, "I mean it! I-I'll let go!" I looked back out to the ocean, waiting to hear Mr Andrews leave. He was a first class man, he won't mind me jumping. He'd love the attention that he'd get for being a witness.

I heard his footsteps coming closer. I dared turn to look at him. His gentle, quiet eyes were full of fear and worry, the real kind, not the faked concern that most people show. It baffled my mind, how a man could actually care about a woman he'd met only hours ago. A wealthy, famous, first class man at that, the type who was only supposed to care about money and status.

"Please Rose, you don't want this" he stepped closer, his hand still out stretched.

"No!" I screamed, "Stay away, please stay away! I'll jump!". He was silent for a minute, before he spoke quietly,

"No you won't."

"What?" I was stunned. Should have known he was no different from Cal and any other first class man, "You don't know me! Who are you to tell me what I will and will not do? You men think you have this great control over woman, like you get to choose what we do. But it's not like that, I'm a person! My mind is just as independant as yours, and you don't get to control me. No one will, I won't let them. I won't..." I trailed off, my voice breaking into sobs.

"Is that how you feel, Rose? Is this why you want to jump? So you can't be controlled any more?"

I nodded.

"Jumping won't solve it, Rose. You can change this, you can make them listen to you. Please try." His soft accent warmed me down to my soul. How could I not listen to him? Slowly, I turned to face him and took his hand. He gently helped me climb back over the railing.

Once I was over, he let out a breath.

"You gave me quite a fright, Miss Dewitt-Bukater" he said, his eyes never leaving mine.

My brain wouldn't function. I wanted to be angry that he stopped me, or at least grateful. But I fet neither, I was just numb.

"I-I'm sorry, I-" how could I say anything when I couldn't think anything? " I have to go" I said, and ran off without looking back. I got back to my room, finding that Cal was still in the smoking room. I threw myself face-down onto my bed.

"Fool!" I screamed at myself. What was I thinking? Attempting suicide in a place where anyone could catch me? Mr Andrews would have told most of First Class before breakfast. Cal and Mother would kill me when they hear.

Oh God, what if Thomas went back to the smoking room and told Cal? He'll be on his way now. I'd be safer if I'd jumped.

To my surprise, the evening passed uneventfully. I heard Cal approaching our rooms, and he simply walked in and got ready for bed. I led silently in bed, facing the wall, wondering if Mr Andrews would instead announce it over breakfast.

The next morning I rose and dressed before Cal had even begun to stir. This was a first, usually Cal is up before me, getting his appearence perfect, whilst I'm a procrastinator, preferring to sleep in until I really need to get up and face reality. Cal's confusion when he woke to find me all ready to go, reading a book was almost amusing.

"Did I sleep in?" He asked groggily.

"No."

"Well, why are you already up?"

"Just am." He narrowed his eyes, he hates it when I don't give him my full attention. But it was a good book, and his conversation can never be described the same.

"I trust you'll be more ladylike at breakfast today?" I put my book down and glared at him.

"I trust I'll be able to order my preferred food for myself today?" I may have said it calmly, but confronting him like that made my heart race, my muscles braced for pain. The anger shone in his eyes, and he slowly rose from the bed. I pushed myself further back in my chair, mentally cursing myself for provoking him like this. There was already a bruise on my face after the slap from yesterday.

He glared at me, then walked into the bathroom to freshen up. I breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed into the chair. He got ready and escorted me to breakfast without a word. As we neared the dining hall, the anxiety came back, waiting for the reactions of people when they see me, the girl who tried to throw herself off the back of the boat. Would they ask me about it? What they whisper and point behind my back? Would they ignore me and ask Mother and Cal for the details? Part of me wanted to turn around and run as far away as possible. But we were on a ship. Wherever I ran, they'd find me. As we walked through the doors of the dining hall, I held my breath, waiting for the fireworks to begin.

_**Remember to review and follow! The Rose/Thomas pairing is coming up, and you won't want to miss it!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN: My spell check on word seems to have died, so I do apologise for any spelling mistakes. I'm always in such a rush to get the story in my head typed up that I rely totally on the red underline to point out my errors.**_

As we walked through the doors of the dining hall, I held my breath, waiting for the fireworks to begin.

But there was nothing. No stares, no whispers. The people we walked past smiled and greeted us as they always did. We went to sit at a small table near the window, giving us a beautiful view of the second class deck and the ocean beyond. Breakfast in first class was very different to dinner. At dinner, it is a social occasion, where everyone dresses up and sits at large tables with people of a similar status. There's a lot of polite conversation, with the aim of lifting said status. At breakfast however, the tables are smaller, and the chatter is more casual, staying between families. The richer people, Cal and I included, have privet areas availible for eating, where many of them choose to use for breakfast, although Cal prefers to eat in public, unless he's partically furious at me for something. We were soon joined my Mother, who immediatly glared at me for picking at my food again.

"Good morning to you too, Mother" I thought. Mother looked around the hall.

"Thank goodness, that dreadful woman is eating in her privet rooms" Mother said. She was referring to Molly Brown, the large, loud cheerful woman I met on my first evening on the ship. Molly was "new money", which I think made her more open minded and happier than all the first class woman put together. I had warmed to her straight away, however Mother and the other woman had found her too unusual. Of course, that hadn't phased Molly. As tempting as it was to respond with a witty remark about how I would prefer her company to my present company, I decided to keep quiet, and focus on the ocean on the other side of the window. I noticed a tall figure leaning on the railings of the deck, writing in a small notebook. A cloud shifted in the sky, allowing the sunlight to illuminate his face, making him recognisible. It was Thomas Andrews. A few second class men walked past and greeted him, and he responded with a polite nod and a smile. I was impressed, most first class men tend to ignore lower classes, whereas Mr Andrews treated them no different than he would treat his fellow first class passengers.

My attention was pulled away when I head Cal and Mother prepare to leave. I hastily followed, my thoughts still on Mr Andrews. I couldn't deny, I was curious about him. It seemed that he hadn't told a soul about my actions yesterday, for if he had, everyone would have known. A first class man not interested in gossip and being called a hero? It was like a parallel universe. I considered seeking him out, to thank him, not only for his actions last night, but for keeping it quiet for me.

Deciding that it was the least I could do, I excused myself from Mother and Cal, and headed down to the second class deck, where I'd last seen him. After wandering the deck for ten minutes, I found him by the gates that led to the poop deck (third class/steerage deck), still taking notes in his notebook. I coughed softly to get his attention, but he was so focused on his notes, he didn't hear me.

"Mr Andrews?" He looked up at me, his eyes showing surpise.

"Miss Dewitt-Bukater, what a surprise. How are you?" He asked. It was a simple question, yet it threw me. How was I? I didn't even know. If I answered that I wasn't fine, I'd probably scare him more than I already had. If I said I was fine, he wouldn't believe me. Either way, I didn't want to make him even more concerned for me. So far, he had proved himself a good, honest man, and I didn't want to ruin it by darkening his thoughts.

"I'm better" I replied. It seemed the most truthful and less complicated thing to say. He didn't respond, he just looked into my eyes, searching for the real answer. I hastily looked away.

"I wanted to thank you for your actions yesterday. It was a terrible situation to put you in, and I apologise for that. I also wanted to thank you for not making it public knowledge." My words came out in such a rush, I'm surprised he understood me.

"No need to thank me, Miss, and there's definitley no need to apologise. I did what any decent fellow what have done." He spoke just as quickly. We were silent for a minute, not sure what else to say.

"Well, I best be going then." I said.

"I'll walk you back to your room." Thomas said quickly. I smiled in thanks, and took his arm. We walked most of the second class deck in silence, until my manners finally kicked in.

"It's a wonderful ship, Mr Andrews. You must be so proud." I said. His eyes lit up at the compliment, which was surprising, considering that people had been throwing compliments at him left, right and centre at dinner yesterday.

"Thank you, Miss Dewitt-Bukater."

"Rose."

"I'm sorry?"

"My name's Rose. It's considerably easier to say."

Thomas laughed, "You're right, Rose. I suppose you best call me Thomas then, if it's easier than saying Mr Andrews."

"Not really", I giggled, "Mr Andrews is only one extra sylibol than Thomas, whilst Rose is five sylibols less that Miss Dewitt-Bukater. But if you prefer Thomas, then I shall cal you Thomas."

"I definitley prefer Thomas. Whenever someone calls me Mr Andrews, I feel like my father. Not that he isn't a good man, I just prefer being myself."

"Well you've certainly made a name for yourself with this ship, Thomas" I said. And it was true, the whole world had heard of this ship. Thomas smiled at me in response. We reached the first class deck in silence, until we had to part ways.

"Will you be joining us for dinner tonight, Thomas?" I asked.

"Mr Ismay would never let me get out of it. Apparently I don't socialise enough" Thomas laughed. I giggled, of course Mr Ismay would try making him act like more of a first class gentlemen. I only hoped that he wouldn't change his current personality after spending a week in such company.

"Well, I shall see you then. Goodbye, Thomas."

"Goodbye Rose."

_**Don't forget to review and follow! It's what keeps me motivated!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN: My spell check is still dead, so I once again apologise for my awful spelling. **_

"Motherfucking damn it! Fucking stupid bruises and useless shit make up!"

Such extreme language rarely left my mouth, but this was an exceptionally frustrating moment. The mark from Cal's slap yesterday had been getting worse all day, and was now a dark purple bruise that refused to be concealed with make up. It wasn't small either.

"URGH!"

I wanted to smash my reflection into tiny pieces. I couldn't allow anyone to see this, especially not Thomas. The whispers and stares would be bad enough, but Cal's reaction would be terrifying, despite it being his fault to begin with. Taking in a calming breath, I gently applied another layer of powder, in the hope that it at least looks older and smaller. Nope, no different. Another string of curses had begun to form on my tongue, when Cal walked in. He stopped a few paces behind me, watching my reflection. I said nothing, I just looked into the eyes of his reflection. He didn't appear angry or upset, so I could relax.

"I know you've been distant with me" he said gently, "and I don't pretend to know why." He walked over, perching himself on the edge of my dressing table, and removed a box from the inside pocket of his suit jacket.

"I was saving this until the engagement gala, but I've decided that you can have it now." Opening the box, he revealed an enormous dark blue jewel on the chain of a necklace. I couldn't suppress my gasp, it was unimaginable.

"Good gracious!" I breathed, "Is it a-"

"Diamond?" He asked, smugly, "Yes. 56 carots, to be exact." He went on to describe the value of it based on its original owner, as he placed it around my neck. I couldn't focus on what he was saying, as I stared at myself wearing the necklace. It was every girls dream, beautiful and expensive. Extravigant. But I couldn't find it in me to love it, or love Cal for it. To him, it was simply a way of telling everyone that I was engaged to a very wealthy man.

"It's overwhelming" I said once he'd finished.

"Well it's for royalty" he replied, "and we are royalty, Rose." He watched me for a moment, then crouched down next to me, and spoke to me via my reflection.

"Oh, open your heart to me, Rose"

I wanted to. I wanted to love him and give Mother her happiness, and Cal his prize. But I hated him, and no expensive gifts could change that. Forgetting that he was still next to me, I gently touched the bruise on my face, the reminder that Cal can be far from sweet.

"You'll want to conceal that" he snapped.

"I tried. It's too dark to be hidden by make up." I snapped back.

"Then tell people you slipped and fell down some stairs." He got up and stormed to the door, "Come on, dinner will be starting soon."

Well, his sweet mood lasted long. One last look at my reflection, and I followed him out the room, taking his offered arm. We walked to the dinning hall in silence, and plastered fake smiles on our faces as we entered, always playing the happy couple. To Cals displeasure, we were late, and everyone else were being seated. We joined our table, and I was relieved to be seated next to Thomas. Hopefully I could get some decent conversation next to him. As usual, we were greeted my everyone at the table, Molly, Ismay, the Astors, the Countess, Mother, and of course, Thomas. He went to smile at me, then his smile faltered when he saw the bruise. Of course, he dared not say anything about it there, but the concern in his eyes was clear. A few others had obviously noticed, and Molly gave Cal a glare, but nothing was said about it. Soon, the men were having a heated conversation on luck, and the way of the world. Molly joined in, causing a few sighs from the other woman. I've never understood why it was an issue for a woman to get heavily involved in a mens conversation. We often at little comments hear and there, but once the men get going, we generally shut up and just listen. Thomas was pretty quiet through that conversation, obviously not partically interested.

"The ship all running smoothly then?" I asked quietly, trying to make conversation. He turned to me and smiled, although the worry in his eyes was still there.

"As smooth as she could be. There was a small fire near the hull, but it's perfectly under control, and will burn itself out soon enough." I loved the way he spoke about Titanic, the pride in his voice always made me smile.

"I hope there won't be a lot of damage?"

"I'll inspect it when the fire's out, but I doubt it. It's in a boiler room, and the materials there are pretty tough."

"You've put so much thought into this ship, I can't imagine how weird it must feel for you to actually be in it"

He chuckled, "I suppose it does. It's not exactly how I imagined it, but overall, I'm happy. A few improvements before the next voyage though.

"I don't think it needs improving. It's a work of art, Mr Andrews."

"Please, call me Thomas. Otherwise I'll go back to calling you Miss Dewitt-Bukater."

"Very well then, Thomas," I giggled. Unfortunatly, my giggle didn't go unnoticed by Cal, who glared at me, causing the others to follow his gaze.

"I was just complementing Mr Andrews on his extraordinary ship." I was responded to with mumours of agreement from the others.

"Thomas is far too modest about it" boomed Ismay, "he knows every rivet in her, don't you Tom?" Thomas blushed, looking down at the table.

"You must give us a tour of her sometime!" declared Mother. I held back a laugh, Mother meant a tour of the first class facilities. She would never even think about dirtying herself by walking the decks of lower classes.

"It would be an honour, madam" Thomas replied politely, "would tomorrow morning at 11 suit you?"

"That would be wonderful!" I exclaimed. Thomas smiled at me gratefully, pleased that I was enthusiastic. I really was enchanted by the ship, however much I hated the life it was taking me too.

Dinner continued in silence. As the men went off to the smoking room, I told Mother I was tired, and excused myself from the others.

"I will escort you, Rose. I'm headed to bed anyway, it's been a long day" Thomas held his arm out for me to take. We were paid little attention, as we left the dining hall and headed towards the first class suites. I knew why he was doing this. The concerned looks he had sent me all evening were the signs that I was about to recieve some questioning.

**_AN: Don't forget to follow and review! I've been flattered by the reviews so far, it really motivates me to get this story finished. _**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: My apologies for making you wait almost two weeks for an update! I've been so busy, lots of horse shows and work shifts...but I'm getting a weeks break now, so I should have time to get another chapter up in a few days!**

I knew why he was doing this. The concerned looks he had sent me all evening were the signs that I was about to receive some serious questioning.

We walked away from the dining all in an uncomfortable silence that made me almost wish for the company of the other passengers. Almost. Instead of turning right towards the first class suites, Thomas led me straight on, towards the deck. As we went through the doors, I gasped. The stars were stunning in the night sky, like nothing I'd ever seen before. I gazed in wonder at how big and endless the sky was, full of shimmering balls of light, bigger than we ever could be. The first class men believe themselves to be big and powerful, but compared to the universe, they are nothing more than specks of dust in Gods eyes. Looking at it gave me hope, I was just as small and powerless than they are, and there's nothing they can do about it. I smiled to myself, until Thomas bought my attention back to him.

"It was Cal." It was a statement, not a question, but I answered anyway,

"I wasn't behaving myself, he lost his temper."

"Your actions at dinner last night, I assume?"

"Yes." I looked away from him, staring off into the ocean. I could feel him watching me, but I didn't want to look at him. My cold mask seemed to melt around him, I couldn't hide my true feelings like I could with everyone else. If I turned, he'd see my fear and would worry, and I didn't want that. He'd been caring and kind to me, and I wasn't about to repay him by worrying him further. This is his first voyage on the grandest ship he'd ever built, the ship than would make him famous, I had no right to ruin it.

"Rose?" No, no, no. Not that soft Irish voice that makes me feel guilty if I don't listen. I don't want to turn around, I don't want Thomas to see how scared I am. I took a deep breath,

"Thank you for your concern, Mr Andrews, but it's nothing to worry about. It's dealt with now, no use crying over spilt milk." My voice sounded fake in my effort to speak in more than a whisper, and I knew without even looking that he didn't buy it.

"It's a dark bruise, Rose, he must have put a lot of force into it. And how many times do I have to ask for you to call me Thomas?" I heard him step closer to me and felt his hand on my arm, "look at me, Rose. You act like nothing can get through your shell, and I can see why you need to. But I'm not going to use you for gossip, or judge you for your feelings. I'm here as a friend, so you don't have to go through this alone. So you don't have to believe that jumping off the back of a ship is the only way out."

I could feel his hot breath on my ear, his hand gently squeezing my arm. It was the closest I've been to having a genuine hug since my father had died. It had been so long since someone had cared about me enough to make an effort to get to know me. Slowly, I turned to face him, my eyes damp with tears. He watched me for a few seconds, his face showing a mixture of sorrow and concern, when he suddenly pulled me forward into a hug, his hands on my back pulling me close. I lost all control of my emotions then, and the tears came out. I don't know how long we stood there, me crying and clinging to him, and him holding me against his chest, rubbing my back and whispering comforting words. I eventually calmed down and pulled away.

"Mr Andrews, I-"

He cut me off, "Thomas. My name is Thomas."

"Thomas, I do apologise."

"For what? For having emotions like everyone else?" I opened my mouth to respond, but he silenced me with a look that said he would have no arguments, "Come, Rose, you must be freezing." He held out his arm, which I took, and led me back through the doors, towards the suites.

"Do you feel better now?" he asked.

"Surprisingly, yes." I replied, and I did. It was as if the emotions had been hammering at my brain for so long, and now they've been let out, I felt light and free. We reached the door to my suite, and I turned to face him.

"Thank you, Thomas, truly. No one has ever shown me this much care." Our eyes met, and he reached out, touching the bruise on my face tenderly.

"That's sad to hear, young Rose. You are a wonderful woman, and you deserve happiness."

I don't know what made me do it, but I leaned in and kissed him softly on the mouth, lingering for a few seconds afterwards to see if he'd respond. When he didn't, I pulled away slowly to see his face. He was looking at me in shock, and I wanted to kick myself! Here I was, with the first real friend I'd had since finishing school, a man decades older than me, probably happily married, and I fuck it all up after a day! I opened my mouth to apologise, when he pulled me closer to him and kissed me with so much passion that I would have fallen over if his arms weren't around me. One hand stayed on the small of my back pulling me closer, whilst his other hand ran up my spine to play with my hair. My hands found their way around his neck, and our mouths synced in a perfect rhythm. After what felt like hours, he pulled away slowly, letting his arms flop to his sides. He stared at a floor like he'd never seen floorboards before.

"I do apologise for that, young Rose. Goodnight." And with that, he turned and walked away. I watched him go, too stunned to respond. He went out of sight without looking back.

**A/N: Finally got to the pairing! Don't forget to review and follow! Reviews give me 95% of the motivation needed to write the next chapter, so please take the time to write a few words. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Just to confirm - This is their third day on the ship. Yes, you know what that means! :P**

I went back into our suite to find Cal was already back and sound asleep. This wasn't good, I must have spent longer with Thomas than I'd thought, and Cal would have wondered where I was. Hopefully he'll forget about it by morning. I lay on the bed, waiting for sleep to overtake me, but it took a while. I replayed the kiss in my head, and Thomas' reaction. Why did I do that? He was just being nice to me, he probably only kissed me back to spare my feelings. Deciding that I would avoid him the next day, I snuggled down into my pillow and just my eyes, when a thought struck me. The tour! How was I supposed to avoid him when we were supposed to be going on a tour on the entire, huge ass ship?! Fuck, fuck, fuck, I would have to spend hours avoiding his eyes and not talking to him, and someone would probably notice, and then they'd figure out what happened, and if it wasn't Cal who noticed then they'd tell Cal and he'd get angry and probably kill me, then kill Thomas and Thomas would be shunned for kissing an engaged woman and I'd be seen as a scarlet woman and our reputations would be ruined it would ruin Thomas' career...

At some point during my minds frantic rambling, I must have fallen asleep. I woke late to find that Cal was already up, sitting on the end of the bed, watching me.

"G'morning" I mumbled groggily.

"Mmm." He replied, his gaze cold. Uh oh.

"Is everything alright?" I asked, which was probably the stupidest thing I could have said. Apparently I turn brainless when I have something to hide.

"Well that depends Rose, if you have an answer for me." His gaze never faltered, and I struggled not to blink or look away.

"Well it would help if you asked me something then." I attempted to sound confident, but my voice shook in fear. Cals eyes narrowed, then he suddenly reached forward and grabbed my wrists in a grip tight enough to crush metal.

"Don't mess with me, Rose" he said darkly, "Where were you last night?"

"I was...er...on the deck" I stammered.

His grip tightened, "with who?" he snarled.

"No one!" I whimpered, "I was sat on a bench looking at the stars, I feel asleep, I'm sorry!"

Cal studied me for a minute, and then released me. I gasped in relief, and hugged my aching wrists to my chest. My fiancé got up to fix his hair in the mirror whilst I hastily got ready, not wanted to antagonise him more by being late.

We ate in our privet dining porch, served by Trudy, our maid. I wasn't supposed to get fond of the staff, Mother and Cal change them so frequently, but I really did have a soft spot for Trudy. She was young and happy, the smallest thing would make her light up in delight. How I wish I could be like that sometimes.

I found myself constantly checking the time, counting down the minutes until I would have to face Thomas on the ships tour. Would he ignore me completely? Or worse, what if he told Mother and Cal that I kissed him? The rational part of me knew that if Thomas could keep my almost suicide to himself, he could keep this to himself. But I couldn't help but worry that he'd become like the other first class men, since he was spending so much time with them.

"Damn it Rose, if you haven't noticed by now that Thomas is too decent for that, then you've got a serious problem with paranoia." I thought. Thomas wouldn't tell anyone, the worst he'll do is ignore me. Or carry on coming on to me.

Is it bad that I was starting to wonder which of those would actually be a bad thing?

Finally, quarter to 11 approached. I had dressed in a simple dark red gown, and had my hair loose, only held from my face by clips. Thomas was late to meet us, and when he did, he looked awful, like he hadn't got a wink of sleep last night. Molly had decided to join us for the tour, and had noticed Thomas' state,

"Good Lord, Thomas, you look like the living dead! Did you sleep at all?" She boomed. Thomas chuckled and smiled at her,

"Ah, thank you for your concern Mrs Brown. I'm afraid I did not, I was designing some improvements for the ship, and didn't realise the time until early this morning! Unfortunately then my head was so full of ideas (he glanced slightly in my direction) that I was unable to find sleep."

I flinched at "ideas", I must have really confused the poor guy! Hell, I've really confused myself! I stared at the floor whilst the tour began, until a comment from Molly caught my attention,

"You must be missing your family Thomas. Ain't your daughter just turned one?"

My heart stopped. Family? Daughter? Thomas was married with a young child, oh God!

"She has, although I'll always see her as a newborn. Can't believe how much she's grown..." He continued to talk with Molly about children, whilst we walked the decks of first and second class, Thomas often pausing the conversation to point out parts of the ship. It really was interesting to learn how the ship worked, but I wish they'd stop talking about Thomas' daughter, it made me feel unbelievably guilty.

Eventually the conversation ended, and the focus went back to the ship. We were just walking along the deck when I noticed how few lifeboats there were. Thomas had earlier mentioned the capacity of the lifeboats, and on our first meal of the ship, Ismay had mentioned how many people were aboard Titanic. I quickly did the sum in my head, then stopped when the answer came to me.

"Excuse me, Mr Andrews?" I called. Thomas turned and smiled at me,

"Yes, young Rose?"

"I did the sum in my head, and the number of lifeboats times the capacity you mentioned...forgive me, but it seems like there isn't enough for everyone aboard?"

"Less than half actually," Thomas looked impressed, "Rose, you miss nothing." I blushed and looked at the floor.

Thomas began walking again as he spoke, "I designed the deck so there would be space for an extra row of boats along here," he gestured to the space on the deck next to the single row of lifeboats, "but it was thought, by some, that the deck would look too cluttered. So I was overruled." My thoughts instantly went to an image of Ismay declaring how the appearance was more important than safety.

"Waste of deck space anyway on an unsinkable ship!" said Cal, whacking his cane against a nearby lifeboat. Thomas narrowed his eyes at Cal, then turned back to me, placing a gentle hand on my arm,

"Sleep soundly young Rose, I have built ye a good ship. She's all the lifeboat you'll need." I smiled and nodded, then went to walk on ahead with the others, who had overtaken us. Thomas tightened his grip on my arm so I was bought back next to him.

"Rose" he muttered, "I must apologise for last-"

"No, I'm sorry, it was unacceptable of me to-"

"You needed comfort, I overstepped the-"

"Thomas, it was all me-"

"I took it too far."

"I started it, I'm sorry, you're married, I didn't-"

"Don't you fret about my marriage, it's not important..." he trailed off.

"Not important? It's your family!"

"I...I don't want to explain this now. Can you meet me after lunch?"

"Umm...of course, where?"

"My suite, A-36." And with that, he marched on ahead, pointing out more parts of the ship to the others. I lagged behind, wondering what he was going to tell me in a few hours.

**A/N: Don't forget to review and follow! Little things like this really make my day and motivate me to write the next chapter!**


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